I actually quite like being AuDHD

Being. Not having. The difference between having or being is quite a contentious topic in the neurodiverse community. I get it though. Like, I am autistic*. It's not a disease. It's not like the clap, I can't just take a week of antibiotics and it's gone. A neurodivergent brain is simply just different than a neurotypical ('normal'/ 'average') brain. Oversimplifying it, ofc.

I can only speak for me and my brain. Every neurodivergent person is different; their struggles and their strengths. Plus, there's so many co-morbidities - other conditions that are more likely to occur together - when you're neurodivergent, that no two ND folks are the same.

Personally, when my ADHD is in check at least, I really do love my brain! Is that a strange thing to say? I really aren't sure... Genuinely though, it's great. Sure, there's challenges. It is a disability afterall. But for me, there's some really cool interactions between the two completely opposite conditions.

Let's take my autistic brain first. I like routine, predictability, I have a strong sense of justice, I'm hella smart and always learning, and I'm an absolute control freak. Then you've got my ADHD brain. I'm creative, passionate, driven, hilarious (debatable), caring, empathetic, and just-the-right-amount-of-unruly. What you end up with is someone who cares about people far too much, with the innocence to still want to actually do something about social issues. Someone with good morals, but the skills and knowledge to actually get stuff done. Someone responsible and wise, yet always open to growth.

I know this sounds like my head is gonna blow up with how much it's swelling, but I really don't mean it in that way at all. For whatever reason, I do think it's hard sometimes to acknowledge the things we're proud of without coming across as a total arsehole, smug, or braggy.

Genuinely, this is something I properly struggle with. It's one of the areas of tone I can't seem to get right; this, and displaying the same emotion I'm feeling - like, appearing negative when I'm actually feeling very positive. They are both heck of a lot more important than you'd realise in every-day life, but I just can't seem to master either of them. This is the kinda shit ND folks think of by the way! I swear 'normal' people don't spend hours of their free time obsessing over perfecting their tone to make sure they're understood. It's pretty weird if you think about it

I really do struggle with my ADHD sometimes. At points, it feels like it would be better if it was completely gone. But actually, when my environment around me is good, and I'm motivated and mentally well, I am, well, quite frankly, an unstoppable machine.

Watch this space!

*autism currently undiagnosed. Self-diagnosed at the moment, pushed by my adhd doc to get formally diagnosed, should get the formal diagnosis very soon  self diagnosis seems to be a real stickler for some people